In light of Ash’s 3rd birthday, I thought it appropriate to pay homage to my own 7 year anniversary of becoming a mama.
First, I have a confession. We were trying to make a baby and on the very first try we succeeded (he he). But when that test showed up positive, I didn’t feel how I expected to feel.
In fact, every step of the way was completely different from how I thought it would or should be. So to the new moms or expecting moms or any woman on the path to motherhood, DON’T TAKE ONE THING FOR GRANTED. Let all expectations fall by the way side and saddle up because it’s a good ride.
In these past 6+ years I have learned so much about myself and this world and life in general I could write a book but I’ll try to keep it short and sweet for this blog post 🙂
During pregnancy, I wasn’t excited. I didn’t love my baby the way some mothers say “I loved you from the moment I knew you were in there.” I didn’t feel connected, or attached. Every day was just like any other day. I wasn’t freaked out, too much. I did switch to an all organic diet, but I didn’t take my vitamins (bad mama).
I enjoyed my pregnancy and thankfully had no complications, ailments or complaints. NONE. In fact, the pregnancy was so wonderful Darryl and I vowed to have as many children possible before I turned 30. Well, I’ll be thirty-one in September and just birthed our FIFTH in June…mission accomplished.
After I had my baby, I didn’t feel the overwhelming Joy I was expecting. I loved my baby, I cared for her and (again)thankfully escaped the dreaded baby blues and post partum depression but it wasn’t until she picked up her little arm and reached out to touch mine with her little fingers that I really felt special. Her voluntary movement and touch gave me butterflies in my stomach, the kind you get when you’re a teenager in love. sigh. At that moment I realized she was a person. With feelings. With a choice. And she chose to touch my arm. I was flattered. I honestly didn’t feel like anything special or magical had happened to me until that moment. I realized I was somebody’s MOM.