I wanted a big bright shiny medal!
I wholeheartedly with every ounce of my soul despised my life and was about ready to up and escape it all; just a few months ago, no less. Being a wife, a mother and everything in between, I was at my wit’s end! (pregnancy hormones are raging and out of control, by the way)
Let’s be honest though, because when I started this web log I told you “if you know me, you’ll now KNOW me and if you don’t know me, you’ll love me.” In that little blurb of the “about me” section of my page I was writing of my truth. I made a promise to myself and you, the reader, to be truthful; and this post is just that. Get ready. Saddle up!
There. I said it. I am. I am utterly, hopelessly lazy. Ask anyone who REALLY knows me. My mom, my sister, my husband…they’ll all tell you, it’s true.
How can that be? Well, I hate doing anything I don’t FEEL like doing; so, I just don’t do it. To be brutally and embarrassingly honest, dishes have sat in my sink for more than just a few days; I’ve restarted the same load of laundry in the washer more than just a few times; my bed has gone unmade for over a month, which means, yep, the sheets weren’t changed in that time. GROSS! I know.
My laziness never mattered to anyone much before I had kids so I never grew up. I never got my act together and now at almost 33 years old, I’m struggling with how to really act like an adult in my everyday life.
I little history about me. I’m the youngest of five. Growing up in my house, I didn’t have to do a thing. Ask them; they’ll tell you. “Lisa never had to do anything.” “She’s spoiled because she’s the baby.” “Lisa got away with everything!” you can sense the resentment in their tone. But, it’s all true.
Surprisingly, despite my laziness, I am and always have been incredibly ambitious, self-motivated and hard driven – when I want to be. When it was for something important to me, I could move mountains and not let the earth settle until I succeeded.
Some days, things get accomplished and I feel like a million bucks; most days, though, I think, “Those dust bunnies will be there tomorrow.” So, instead of stressing out over my to-do list, I look into my babies’ eyes and hug ’em tight because tomorrow is another day but they’ll be another day older, another inch taller and that much closer to growing up and out of the phase where mom’s hug CAN fix anything.
Everyday I pray and thank God for this life, the time I get to spend with my kids making memories, and for this man sitting next to me making sacrifices to make it all possible.
So what about that medal?
Truly I don’t deserve one. I’m a stay at home mom. I realize and appreciate that I am blessed beyond the vast universe to have a roof over my head, food on the table for my kids and the health of myself and family.
Did I birth 6 human beings? yes.
Do I maintain a household for 8 people and 4 pets despite my laziness? yes.
Do I juggle being a mom, wife, writer, artist, choiffer, chef, gardener, maid, boogie-getter and storybook narrator? yes.
But I don’t get a medal for living a life of my choosing.
This is why I have a hard time answering the blizzard of questions and comments like, “How do you do it?” or “You’re super-mom!”
It’s not easy and I certainly don’t claim it to be, but what about that medal?
It’s looking into those eyes I mentioned earlier.
It’s hearing my 6 year-old say “mmm, mom! this is really good!” with a mouth full of a dinner I just spent over an hour preparing.
It’s seeing my husband across a crowded room with his freshly cut hair (saving money by doing it myself) playing with our kids, making them giggle and laugh.
It’s even this cat on my lap purring as I type this.
All these little things add up to a big bright shiny medal.
So I leave you with this:
Live each day as if it were the only day you have left. Tomorrow might be a new day, but you’ll never get to do this day again (unless you’re Bill Murray).
I do change the sheets (almost) every week.
We’ve been keeping up on the dishes (for the most part).
Since Dogwood loves to vacuum, the dust bunnies don’t hang around(for too long).